Worrying… All the Time

I’ve been in such a funk lately. Everything feels… stalled. I was on such a roll, and was feeling so empowered, and then BAM! That’s usually how it goes though, right? Everything is swell and fine, and then the Universe gets wind of it and suddenly, everything goes awry. I was chugging along with writing and freelancing, making great progress at the gym, cooking more at home, making new friends and then BAM! Spencer gets sick, has to have a minor surgery, and has been sleeping for three days with a 100 degree fever while I am constantly hovering and worrying. I was sick last week, had to cancel my Dabble class, and now I’m behind at the gym, behind on email, behind on writing, blahblahblah.

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I’m such a worrier, and sometimes I wonder if I manifest my worry and then it plays out so I can go, “See! I told you so! What I worried about happened!” Just so I can keep up this worrying game, as if it is empowering in some way. Obviously, it’s not like my worrying manifests a cyst in Spencer’s body that he has to get removed, but I think I like to lie to myself that worrying helps me stay in control when it obviously does not.

I trick myself into believing that worrying about getting the flu helps me not get the flu, when it actuality it makes me stress, which inflames my body, lowers my immune system, and ups my risk of getting sick. You get the idea.

I’m trying to figure out ways to snap out of it. I really want to write down an ideal day, one without worry and instead, marked with empowerment and joy and fulfillment, and then take a step back and visualize how I can make that a reality.

Processed with VSCOcam with f2 presetSnag this Lindsay Letters mug in her shop!

I think it’d be something like this: wake up early (having gone to bed early the night before), go to the gym and get a good, strong workout in, eat a healthy breakfast, take a shower and get ready so I feel like a dignified human for the rest of the day, answer emails, write, brainstorm collaboration ideas, talk with my lovely readers on social media, read a book, make a yummy dinner for Spence and I, and enjoy some wine while we watch Mindy Project or Friends…

Doesn’t that sound nice?

Man, I feel happier just thinking about it. And sort of on the verge of tears, too, because I want it so bad. It’s just one of those days. #oceanofemotion

How are you all doing? Are you ready for the holidays? I’m excited to share some pictures of the decorating I’ve been doing around here. Stay tuned. XO.


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9 Responses to Worrying… All the Time

  1. Amanda Jaynes 11.21.13 at 6:12 pm #

    Oh my gosh this speaks straight to my heart. Especially the part about manifesting it so you can say “See! I told you so.” I tend to think of myself as intuitive but I often mistake that with being prophetic; if I have a worrisome thought pop into my head it must be some sort of sign that I should prepare myself for something bad that’s about to happen. Thanks for sharing- you’re certainly not alone!

  2. Allie @ Days Like These 11.21.13 at 8:33 pm #

    “I trick myself into believing that worrying about getting the flu helps me not get the flu” Yep, totally do that too. It’s been weighing on my heart heavily lately and wrote about it today, too. For me, I always worry about the “What ifs” in life instead of enjoying what’s in front of me. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Aubrey Hubbell 11.22.13 at 7:35 am #

    Anne, I can definitely relate to this. Worrying, I worry as soon as I get strep throat that I’ll have to have the test. You know, the one that makes you gag. Somehow I never get it and I say instead of worrying – I will myself not to! Ha! Whatever that means. The little preview to your Christmas decor makes me want to so much more. I’m sure it’s absolutely beautiful! May you and your husband be on the quick road to recovery and all ready for the holidays coming up!

  4. Moira @ Hearth and Homefront 11.22.13 at 8:16 am #

    I can really relate to this! I go through periods where the worry weighs on me all the time. Several months ago I said as much to a friend and she told me to throw a cheap little notebook in my purse and when the worry wouldn’t let go of me to take 5 minutes and write them all down. Don’t think about how you’re writing or what you’re writing-the important thing is to just get it out of your head. After a few weeks I started feeling like I controlled the worry and it no longer controlled me. That’s not to say I’m not worried or anxious now but it helps me from getting totally overwhelmed-it’s like writing it down takes some of the power away from it. Anyway-I hope you find your ideal day soon and thanks for sharing-you are certainly not alone in feeling like this!

    • Anne Taylor 11.22.13 at 9:13 am #

      Such a good idea. I will definitely try this!

  5. Ashley 11.22.13 at 10:16 am #

    I can absolutely relate to this — I have been in such a funk lately, that all came to heads the other day in a very unnecessary fight between my very sweet and understanding husband and I. I haven’t thought of it this way, but I totally agree. When I worry so much, it seems to manifest itself in action, which is the OPPOSITE of what I want to happen. Positive thoughts Ashley! They’ll go a long way!

  6. Lindsey 11.22.13 at 11:11 am #

    Anne!

    Gosh, don’t you feel like when it rains it pours. When things are going well, they’re great and then one little thing goes wrong and it all seems to fall apart. Your ideal day reminded me of something. A while back I read an article about the art of pretending. The theory goes something like this – when it’s a crap day, you force yourself to smile or laugh. As time goes on and you keep forcing yourself to smile, somehow in the “pretending” your mood changes and you’ve pretended your way into having a better day. I’ve tried it on days when I’m exhausted yet I have so much left to do, and I’ve found it actually works! Kind of crazy, huh.

    P.S. So bummed I had to miss the Fellow potluck, let’s get together soon? I’d love love love to chat with you!!

    • Anne Taylor 11.23.13 at 4:33 pm #

      I think you’re right! I will have to try that. And okay, I was wondering if the Fellow Lindsey was the same as the meet-up Lindsey, haha! Yes, we missed you! Let’s definitely get together soon. Coffee after Thanksgiving?

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