I’ve been in such a funk lately. Everything feels… stalled. I was on such a roll, and was feeling so empowered, and then BAM! That’s usually how it goes though, right? Everything is swell and fine, and then the Universe gets wind of it and suddenly, everything goes awry. I was chugging along with writing and freelancing, making great progress at the gym, cooking more at home, making new friends and then BAM! Spencer gets sick, has to have a minor surgery, and has been sleeping for three days with a 100 degree fever while I am constantly hovering and worrying. I was sick last week, had to cancel my Dabble class, and now I’m behind at the gym, behind on email, behind on writing, blahblahblah.
I’m such a worrier, and sometimes I wonder if I manifest my worry and then it plays out so I can go, “See! I told you so! What I worried about happened!” Just so I can keep up this worrying game, as if it is empowering in some way. Obviously, it’s not like my worrying manifests a cyst in Spencer’s body that he has to get removed, but I think I like to lie to myself that worrying helps me stay in control when it obviously does not.
I trick myself into believing that worrying about getting the flu helps me not get the flu, when it actuality it makes me stress, which inflames my body, lowers my immune system, and ups my risk of getting sick. You get the idea.
I’m trying to figure out ways to snap out of it. I really want to write down an ideal day, one without worry and instead, marked with empowerment and joy and fulfillment, and then take a step back and visualize how I can make that a reality.
Snag this Lindsay Letters mug in her shop!
I think it’d be something like this: wake up early (having gone to bed early the night before), go to the gym and get a good, strong workout in, eat a healthy breakfast, take a shower and get ready so I feel like a dignified human for the rest of the day, answer emails, write, brainstorm collaboration ideas, talk with my lovely readers on social media, read a book, make a yummy dinner for Spence and I, and enjoy some wine while we watch Mindy Project or Friends…
Doesn’t that sound nice?
Man, I feel happier just thinking about it. And sort of on the verge of tears, too, because I want it so bad. It’s just one of those days. #oceanofemotion
How are you all doing? Are you ready for the holidays? I’m excited to share some pictures of the decorating I’ve been doing around here. Stay tuned. XO.